To be ‘unconditional’ is to be decisive, definite, explicit, genuine, thorough, whole, complete.
If we incorporate these defining words when discussing the ‘unconditional love for self, then the meaning of the word ‘unconditional’ would refer to a wholeness and completeness in the love for self.
Let’s sit with that statement for a moment .. ‘the wholeness and completeness in the love for self’..
For many of us this thought can be foreign when considering our own beliefs and values in reference to self.
We talk about self-care rituals whether it be daily, weekly and/or monthly. How many of us actually focus on the unconditioned, unbridled love for self in thoughts, words and actions. Placing self first above all.
We delve into the normalcy of our day by doing and caring for others automatically. Many times at a cost to our true self.
At times we are overwhelmed and exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. We are so busy pleasing and doing for everyone else including family and friends that there is no time or energy left for our self.
This is how we perceive it.
Everyone else comes before us.
Whatever reason you have created in your mind for this presupposition, know that it is an untruth and illusion.
If you continue to live by this mantra, it will manifest unfavourably in different ways throughout your life.
How many times do your thoughts and words betray the illusory truth you live by .. ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not beautiful’, ‘I’m worthless’, ‘I hate myself’.
Let’s take a step back ..
This program you are continually tapping into can be changed, removed, given a 360 degree turn around.
The thoughts and words that are dominating this program, limit your reality.
They can be transformed and substituted with those that serve your truth. This in turn will affect the evolutionary growth of belief within self. Which will metamorphosis into something new and exciting.
Here’s my story ..
From a very young age I always knew I was different. I never seemed to quite fit in. This resulted in me continually rebelling as to what was considered the ‘norm’ and regularly challenging the status quo.
I searched for love and acceptance through external means, to fill the void I felt was gaping inside of me. I hated myself for everything that was different about me.
I was determined to hide my true feelings of self-worth under a cleverly disguised mask. I became known as the happy friend that would do anything for everyone else at no cost to herself. I was craving friendship and love and still I never really fitted in!
I started searching for a better way to live an extraordinary life on my own terms.
What if I could tell you that if you loved yourself unconditionally you would be able to give more, share more, and that you would attract the right people into your life whether it be for love, friendship, or to guide or mentor you.
If you want to experience real change with how people treat you, speak to you and act around you, you first need to make a conscious choice to change yourself from within.
I want to inspire and empower you and let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I have been on a similar path to you, I totally get it! I am YOU!!
The rest of my story ..
I worked my ass off in a corporate job, managing a legal firm while raising a family. I missed out on my kids’ childhood. I worked till I made myself so sick I ended up in hospital. I attached so much to my job and career that when I didn’t have it anymore I became depressed. I did not know who I was! I wore a mask at work, in front of my friends and at home. I was always happy, happy, happy or grumpy as hell! I was tired and exhausted all the time. Does this resonate with you?
How many of us give everything we have to our job or our family. Our identity is lost and we don’t know who we are. We are so busy caring and loving everyone else we forget about our self.
Or perhaps you like it that way, to push outwardly and give affection and attention elsewhere, so you need not have to look within.
We discern that it would be too painful to look inwardly .. ‘I might not like who I am’. This statement is an illusion and an untruth.
If you want to experience real change in your life then there is work to be done.
Today I want you to make the decision, that the first step moving forward is a commitment to YOU. That’s right .. YOU! Make the choice to put YOU first!
This is all about you loving yourself unconditionally. If you loved anyone unconditionally you would go far and beyond to help them and support them in anyway. Let’s turn this internally and make you the person that requires that unconditional love and support from yourself.
When our patterns are disrupted, when we are confronted, or our belief system has been triggered or we experience resistance; we suppress the emotion that is bubbling up to the surface and push it to one side. Over time the feelings that are echoing from within develop into a deep chasm of pain. The feeling of being unloved and unheard reverberates through our whole being and patterns into the fear of ‘I’m not good enough’.
When we feel we are being pushed, our inner child surfaces. We manifest these emotions as fear. I always use the analogy of a cupboard where our inner child resides. We continually place one emotion on top of the other, all our fears, anxieties, and illusions. Until he/she is unable to handle it anymore. This results in ‘breakdowns’, confusion, and not knowing who we really are.
Embrace your inner child today and surround them with an outpouring of unconditional love.
Here’s a practice you may want to incorporate ..
Sit in meditation and stillness, ask your inner child what it is they require from you right now.
Connect to spirit and listen to that still small voice within.
He/she is waiting to have a conversation with you right now. To tell you how they feel.
Once you connect to that vulnerability from your inner child, you will start experiencing a deeper love that you thought was not possible for yourself.
If this is difficult for you, and it can be sometimes, liken that love for self to someone who you truly, madly love deeply. Take that love you feel for them and replace ‘them’ with YOU.
This is a process and will take time. Remember you have been running the ‘I’m not good enough’ pattern for a very long time. Take it one step at a time and before you know it, you will be loving yourself unconditionally, like I do.