With Guest Blogger, Jasmine Smith
Within myself I hide who I am from the world not wanting to be seen not wanting to be criticised not wanting to be heard, I want to keep me to myself pure untouched unseen unheard, the very core of who I am resides safely here, then one day the surrounding layers that support and kept me safe begin to fall down, layers that have battled with external pressures in the form of conditioning or abuse, the internal pressures of self-sabotage and rejection of who I am all these and more become so great my walls begin to weaken stress hits like a train sickness arises and the only save I have is my ‘Truth’.
Some people carry their uniqueness from birth wearing it loud and proud, others simply do not and how their uniqueness is birthed is individual to each person’s circumstances or behaviours, I am no psychologist I speak only from my own experiences and by listening to the accounts of people I have done self-development and Shamanism work with.
I come from a Catholic upbringing though not much of my life has been fashioned around religious values, my values come from a cultural perspective of who we were and are as a people ultimately cultural beliefs are derived through spirit, these values I carried into my adult years and have shared with my own children, I respect religion and the choice people have to choose what they follow.
I’d like to go back and share a fond memory I have sitting in mass one day and feeling heavily drawn to what the priest was speaking about he continues on to describe how god has created us all different and unique?
Yet here I was being conditioned to be like others do as others, when in truth it’s not true reality is it, I believe unique to be our connections to god/spirit and also self, here is where we demonstrate the truths unspoken expose our weakness to discover and learn the strengths we possess, I believe Jesus carried his cross and so should we, there is too much confusion because we are not the same, there is too much conflict because we are not the same and people cannot accept that we are not the same, to believe this you would have to look in the mirror and see yourself staring back and will you truly know who you are? Or will you be scared to see what is staring back at you, I know this much we all have chatter within and we all wear masks very well.
I had a moment in my mid 30s where I became truly lost in a bottomless pit where not even the love shown to me could reach me, it was here that I had time to sit with who I truly was, if this is how God describes us as being different and unique I am proud to share my uniqueness.
Whilst I share the same values and beliefs as others I am unique in how I act and execute these, I’m certain we can all agree on this, earlier I spoke about uniqueness being birthed either by circumstance or behaviour, for myself it was a double whammy of both, the realisation of having to search within to crawl out of the bottomless pit was #realtalk #reality, through this stormy part of my life I was desperately trying to find answers that no.1 were only helpful in the sense that it gave me 2 options – believe everyone else’s advice of what I was going through or I could believe the voice within, the voice I believed to be guidance from god/spirit, as a child I always talked to someone I could not see and I always felt safe, later on I learnt this to be divine meetings with guides or god/spirit.
I am not better than you nor are you better than I, I have lived my years and responded to experiences in every emotion known to humans, my thought structure derives from religion cultural and family conditioning, I have found half of these helpful and half not helpful you know the ones that do not serve us well, I seek counsel with spirit the way in which I do this is in quiet meditation or just talking to spirit, also I learn new methods through self-development and Shamanism, over the years I have met and spoken with many people and the thing I find most interesting is although some stories and life journeys were similar we all had our personal unique way of how we conducted our lives and I have the utmost admiration for the beautiful people I have met through my journey.
You could not brand your ‘Uniqueness’ because this is your connection to self to god/spirit, you are the conductor of your life, your truth of light and shadow exists within, don’t dim your light and don’t quiet your shadow, doing these will dull your unique, embrace all of you for you are the truth, understand that we are not the same as each other, understand that your quirkiness is anothers delight, understand that your shadow brings anothers shadow out from shame, understand that your light lights the way for those in the dark and lastly own who you are if not loudly then do it proudly within.
I am Unique as are you!